Nothing Else Matters

2009-11-04T17:19:00.002-05:00

There was this wonderful period of time that has now past, sadly I did not appreciate it nearly enough while it lasted. I used to lay Eden down for a nap and leave knowing she would be sleeping soon, even though she may lay there and talk to herself for a little while. Now, there is still talking only it never stops, then it slowly become grumpy mumbling. Now, I need to go back upstairs and lay her back down, because she is quite happy to stand looking over the crib railing until she decides she is ready to sleep but then realized she doesn't know how to lay back down. She very rarely cries, so it is mainly a guessing game of do I need to go up, if I go up will she be laying down and I am just bothering her, if I don't go up will she be standing there for the next hour waiting for someone to come and help her? I am tired of going up and down the stairs.

Pumpkin Carving

2009-10-26T21:20:00.003-04:00

Beth came over tonight to carve a pumpkin with Eden. I think I may find pumpkin stuck to my wall for weeks to come.

Long overdue videos of Eden

2009-10-10T20:04:00.002-04:00

Below are some videos I've (Carlos) meant to post a long time ago so that my family in Florida can view them. I have numerous clips but there are too many to post here. So I have chosen two, the first where Eden is six months and the second where she is eight months. To my family: Enjoy!

A typical Day

2009-10-08T13:30:00.008-04:00

We are a little over a month into the new school year and I think I may have finally figured out a routine that works for me. Thankfully, I will be graduating in September so I will finally only have work and Eden (although I suppose soon after that it will be kids, how crazy is that?)

Today after lunch I took some pictures of Eden's typical day.

This is the "yes, you did just catch me licking the congo legs" face.

"hmmm, I wonder how much I can touch Norman before he gets up and moves."

"wow, a camera, I want it!"

She is obsessed with her stuffed goat, Pepe. She is only happy sleeping when Pepe is laying on her face, I guess she decided to show him off before her nap.

I tried to pose her and Pepe for a picture together and you can tell how well that worked out. "Oh, I think there is something behind this chair."

"Nevermind, I see a book." Turns out she is also a little book obsessed, when I stop reading she cries, everytime.

This last one is Norman showing off his new lime green collar.

Random Pictures

2009-10-06T09:38:00.004-04:00

I just recently figured out that I don't need to install my camera info onto the laptop in order to save pictures, so now I am actually motivated to take pictures off of the camera.

The first 2 pictures are at the Falmouth Goat Races. There is something so enjoyable about goats in costume and people sunning with their goats on leashes. The last few are just some I like from the past few months.

2009-10-06T09:29:00.005-04:00

This morning when I got home from work this is what I found while walking up the sidewalk. It says Carlos loves Sarah. It certainly makes for a happier Tuesday morning. (Can you tell by the ridiculously long grass how dedicated we are to our yard?)

It's a...

2009-10-03T18:40:00.002-04:00

BOY!

I guess my whole theory of using all the same clothing over again won't be working out for me anymore. I will say it did spark an interesting discussion with my Dad about how his parents made him wear hand me down girls clothing when he was around the ages of 7-10. He says he is still traumatized, for good reason I would think. It seems odd that a family that had 7 girls would pass all their clothing onto a family with 3 boys.

All of that aside we are very excited, Eden slept through her ultrasound and refused to move so we had to go back to find out her sex. The soda I drank before this ultrasound ensured an active moving baby.

We had both a girl and boy first names picked out so now we just need to figure out a middle name, lets just say it could be awhile. His first name will be Judah. Jude for short, although Carlos says he will never call him that. Carlos says would like to name him Judah Ben Carlos. Evidenly Ben means "son of". Thankfully, he is joking, although my Dad has said he would like it and would then call him Benji for short. Poor child.

2009-07-20T19:48:00.002-04:00

For some of you who don't know this, it took us just about 2 1/2 years to get pregnant the first time, which ended in a miscarriage, quickly followed by my pregnancy with Eden. All of this took a serious amount of Dr's appointment, medication and much trauma on my part. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which means without giving you all far to much information, that my body doesn't act like it is supposed to on many levels. I very much attribute getting pregnant in the first place to loosing 30 pounds in addition to the meds. My reproductive endocrinologist had already been attributing me not getting pregnant on the medication to the fact that I had not lost the weight he wanted me to. So I finally did and here we are.

After Eden was born I decided I would loose the weight and get in shape and control my PCOS naturally. I read all about it and was pretty sure even if it had nothing to do with having kids I still wanted to be healthy and since PCOS gives me a higher risk of diabetes and heart disease it was worth it. Plus, if I ever had to go back to the dr to have another baby I would already be where I should be.

Now, because of the 2 1/2 years it took to get pregnant, Carlos and I very quickly decided we want more kids eventually so who is preventing pregnancy? Not us. Plus, I have also been told that pregnancy can regulate the body of someone with PCOS for a few months afterward so you have a better chance of getting pregnant without medical help. After all the money we spent the first time just on office co-pays and medication, that would be great.

So, the first week of June I wasn't feeling great and thought there is no way I could be pregnant that would be way to easy, but since I had a test left from a box I bought a year ago I used it, didn't read it and left it lay in the bathroom. I went back later and my jaw literally dropped. I can honestly say I don't know when else I have been that stunned. I took it downstairs and said "Carlos you need to look at this". To which he said, "what does that mean?" So I of course respond with "what do you think it means" What can I say we have very enlightening conversations at our house.

The conversation continued briefly and then was followed by a lot of contemplative silence. An hour or two later I remember saying, wow this means we need to buy another crib. Carlos responded with, "Sarah, we will need to buy many things".

I think I am finally getting over the shock of it all as well as hopefully the nausea that has been making me miserable. And so according to the ultrasound technician we will be having another baby sometime around February 11th.

I think that is enough for now. Yes, for those of you who are trying to figure it out that is 13 months after Eden was born. I am fully aware that people do this and do it well, I am just not all that sure that I will still be mentally stable by the second child's 1st birthday.

2009-07-09T11:30:00.006-04:00

I realize that I am horrible at keeping up with my blog. I think there are a few main reasons for this. First, I am lazy and it seems like a lot of effort (this may realistically be the main reason). Secondly, now that I am obsessed with google reader I no longer have to come to my blog to read other blogs that I like, therefore I don't see how sadly outdated it is. Seriously, google reader makes me so happy, thanks again Adia! Finally, our laptop is messed up and so I would have to use Carlos's computer and for some reason not being able to sit on the couch and use the computer is a deterrent in itself.

All this being said so many people have been asking for updated pictures, I thought I could at least do that. So, here you go folks, I dug out my camera just for you.

2009-05-30T17:33:00.002-04:00

Below is a picture of Eden after a craft we made for Carlos. It is a good thing they make non-toxic paint. We were both covered by the time we finished it and even her bath water was blue when I emptied her bathtub. The other picture is just a lazy afternoon.

Random Pictures

2009-05-02T12:20:00.003-04:00

Pandula

2009-04-30T12:21:00.008-04:00

I read the blog Bring the Rain (which you can link from the side of my blog)and Angie who writes the blog is currently in India with Compassion International, touring their sites. (Some of you may remember I talked about her blog before when she lost her infant daughter). Reading it this week has been enlightening to me. I am amazed by what is done through $32 a month. I knew this in my head before, but seeing and hearing from someone who is there makes it far more real.

Carlos and I sponsored Isaac for a few years from the Dominican Republic, but we had to stop when Carlos was out of work for 6 months last year and couldn't even pay our bills. But times change and we although we don't have a lot of extra money right now, I do eat out ever now and then. I can change someones life with with how much is costs me to go to friendly's (we are not even talking outback price!)

And so this morning I was on Compassion's web site and I typed in Eden's birthday, mainly because you could and I didn't want to type in mine. With one click of the mouse I was looking a a beautiful 10 year old girl named Pandula from India. I stopped and thought for a second, should I sponsor her? All of the sudden the reality of the situation hit me. This is actually a little girl's life, not some picture on the internet. She had to stand and have her picture taken just in hopes of getting a sponsor, how could I possibly say no. I actually got teary when typing in my credit card info (not my typical reaction to buying something online) and if you know me well, you know I don't get emotional over things on a regular basis. Now I am eagerly awaiting her info packet, the plan is to fame Pandula's picture for Eden's dresser. Sadly, there was another little girl, also 10 years old that came up when I was searching. I can't sponsor 2 kids right now but man would I like to. Anyone want to sponsor a pretty little girl from Bangladesh? If I could figure out how to post a link I would, but if you go to www.compassion.com and search for a girl born January 10th you will find her.

2009-04-16T11:45:00.003-04:00

It is finally great weather outside and so I packed Eden up for a walk, found her sun hat, made sure I had the pacifier and a burp cloth, harnessed Norman, found his leash, found a poop bag, went outside, locked the door and went to get the stroller out of the car. Then I realized Carlos had taken that car to work.

I then called Carlos to complain and to tell him that the Jehovah's Whiteness's that woke me up from my nap mostly likely think I plan on becoming one of them and are planning on coming back to talk some more. (I was to out of it from just waking up that I just kept mumbling ok).

Because I had told Norman we were going for a walk he was still bouncing around whining and I felt bad for him so I thought I can use the baby carrier thing and just go for a shorter walk. Well, Eden wanted to see and she is still to short to sit facing out in the carrier and still be able to see, so I took her out of there and I got out my sling so she could sit facing out in that. By this point a lot of time had passed and she was starting to fall asleep. So, sadly our walk is not going to happen. Poor Norman just doesn't understand what happened. He is just walking around all sad

The above picture is after I decided the walk was no longer happening, but Eden was still chilling in her sun hat. Below is Carlos and Eden playing after dinner last night.

Bedtime Story

2009-04-15T12:20:00.004-04:00

Bedtime is Carlos's time with Eden. He reads her stories, while injecting his own thoughts, opinions or disagreement. If you were here you would often hear me yell something about the offensiveness or annoyingness of his comments, I try not be be in hearing range. I also do a lot of eye rolling, but they are both happy and I get time to myself so I guess I can't complain.

Thinking of blogging

2009-04-09T21:36:00.003-04:00

I have been thinking of blogging for a while now but have not had time or if I did, I was lacking the motivation.

I thought of blogging about life in Lebanon and the oddly large number of police cars outside yesterday, maybe even adding the stories I made up about what the men did who were sitting in the back of them. Or the two men I saw exchanging money on the sidewalk today, and the stories I made up in my head about that.

I thought of blogging about how someone stole one of our trash cans. We had 2 newer trash cans and a really gross old one. The gross one was stolen. What kind of wack-job does something like that.

I thought of blogging about how much I enjoy our neighbors across the street, Hippie Dave and Sharon. (If you ever see Dave you would understand the hippie part.) We now have a set of their keys hanging with ours so we can move their car for them into our driveway each week on street cleaning days and how their car is a Capris classic. I learned to drive in this exact kind of car, which just happens to be the biggest car on earth. Oh, and I would thought I would blog that Hippie Dave laughed at Carlos moving the car and told him that his wife did it some much smoother when she did it last time. Hippie Dave can't drive by the way, due to epilepsy and Sharon has to many health issues to count and is unable to walk up the slight hill that is our driveway,hence we move the car.

I thought I blogging about how the other neighbors dog annoys me to no end and I almost hit it with my car because it was sitting in my driveway when I came home from work. Why put your dog on a least that can reach into my driveway and then leave it outside unattended.

I thought about blogging about Carlos' and my desire to find ways to make holidays like Christmas and Easter more meaningful and purposeful in our lives and less commercial. How starting Good Friday at noon we are shutting off the lights in our house and are only going to use candles until Easter Sunday. I enjoy the symbolism of this immensely.

I thought about blogging about how infertility still screws with my head even though I have a 3 month old daughter, and how sometimes I feel robbed of just enjoying certain aspects of life that normal people take for granted. How is it very possible these thoughts will always be a part of who I am. For anyone else dealing with this, I recommend to you Hannah.org, the community of women there may have been what kept me sane some days.

I thought about blogging about how much is bothers Carlos that I do not do back and proof-read my blogs after writing them.

I thought about blogging about how a parent at work thanked me for what I was doing for her son and what a difference she has been seeing in him, which completely stunned me, especially coming from this parent. How sometimes it is nice to know there actually is a purpose in what I do.

I thought about blogging about Oprah today and the subject of talking to your kids about sex. How I really enjoyed this particular show.

I thought about blogging about Norman and his obsession with his own shadow. How we often hear a thud at night when he runs into the wall trying to attack his shadow.

I thought about blogging often lately, but really who has anything to say.

2009-03-20T10:50:00.004-04:00

I thought it was important to get a picture of Eden's mohawk, so I spiked it up. Even the pediatrician said she has a great mowhawk.

Trying to sit on Norman

2009-03-07T20:48:00.005-05:00

Due to the amazing weather today we all spent the day at outside at my parents, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows over a fire, went for walks and just relaxed outside. It was so nice to actually be able to be out of the house. We even took Norman who is now completely exhausted. Here are a couple pictures from the day.

2009-03-01T20:21:00.007-05:00

Going Ghetto...

Things have been pretty calm around here. Eden was at the Dr last week for her reflux and now weighs just about 10 pounds. Crazy what a difference 3 pounds makes. She is taking 2 different medicines for her reflux which have been very helpful. There is much happier eating and much better sleeping going on now. She does need to go to the hospital March 9th for an upper GI to make sure it is reflux that is the problem. Due to the results of the meds we all assume that it is though. She is also going for her 2 month well check on the 11th and getting shots so between those two things it should be a fun week.

Eden is definitely staying awake more and getting into playing on her play mat, which she loves. We spend a lot of time playing there everyday.

In case anyone is wondering why I don't better organize my pictures, it is because for the life of me I can't figure out how do do them without cutting off parts of some unless I put them all in the center. Carlos offered to fix the HTML, but I am not the most patient person so this is what you are stuck with.

2009-02-12T20:36:00.006-05:00

Today was a big day for Eden and I. We went to Carlos's work to visit and meet everyone and then we detoured to my work to hang out in the office for a little while and then visit the school in the afternoon. I was planning on getting there before the senior center closed, but didn't make it before the buses left so I only got to see a few people there. Ironically, all the old men that only come 2 afternoons a week to play pinochle all wanted to see her. In the years I worked there very few of them ever spoke to me, as they are there to play cards not socialize.

I am throwing a bunch of pictures in for those of you that have been asking. One is Eden with the lion her Aunt Nikki gave her. I love the lion. I also took one when we were going for a walk yesterday. I was rather nervous about how Norman would do, surprisingly he did better than usual. He walked right beside the stroller the entire time. I am not sure if that is a fluke or if it will continue once the weather gets warmer.

Oh and Adia there is one of the sling I made. I is boring I admit but I used fleece so it would be warm and so that I didn't have to double up my fabric. I also didn't get a fun pattern because I thought the dark would hide the dog fur. Sad, but true.

2009-02-09T19:04:00.002-05:00

I like to believe I have basic principles in my daily life that keep me from doing things I may regret. I am not talking about major life changing principles more like I always have the dishes washed before going to bed principles. That being said I just minutes ago fed my daughter until she fell asleep because I am fried and she is cranky and Carlos will not be home until 9:30. I will let her fall asleep on her own...yes, this is one of those principles that is now broken.

I need to loose 7 pounds to be where I was before pregnancy (don't worry it is not distributed the same as it used to be). Due to my PCOS (poly cystic ovary syndrome)I have resolved that I will loose all the weight I gained and eat healthy and exercise regularly. I decided I would begin really focusing on this beginning in February. Yes, this also is one of these principles now broken. As I type I am eating a thin mint girl scout cookie. In the past 2 hours I have eaten over half the box. There are exactly 8 cookies left. I am thinking of eating them and drinking a coke. javascript:void(0)

I'm just not very exciting

2009-02-06T14:34:00.003-05:00

I read Wendi's blog daily. Realistically, I don't know Wendi but really feel like I do. She is one of the two people who's blogs are updated daily and that I feel like I can't miss. For the life of me I can't even think of anything of worth to update on a weekly basis. I want to be cool like Wendi, turns out I am not. Turns out my life is boring. It is not that I do not have time to blog, because I have enough time, I just have nothing to say. As well as blogging daily, these two also post pictures of their life several times a week. I want to do that as well, but I never take pictures. I want to take pictures but it just doesn't happen. Who thinks about it. I thought having a kid would change that, instead whenever I feel guilty that she will have no pictures of her childhood or I see someone else's photos which motivates me I try to take one. Sad.

For an update on our boring life...
I am a big fan of scheduling, this is true in general. I am very routine oriented, I like knowing what I need or want to get done for the day. Happily, Eden and I are getting into a routine. Our crazy lives of people visiting at all times of the day, everyday has calmed down and for the most part it is just the two of us until the evening. We now of feeding and such on a schedule as well which so helps my sanity. For all of you feeding on demand people out there, more power to you but I think I would have a break down if I did that. Don't worry she is not starving and is actually much happier now that we are in the swing of things, probably because I actually have a clue what she wants.

Daily, I say I hate breastfeeding at least 10 times. To Carlos, Mandy, the dog or even just to myself. I think I have also threatened to quit at least half that many times. I should put the disclaimer that I am having no issues breast feeding at this point I just hate it. Really, I hate everything about it. I am still doing it because I know it is good for her, and realistically formula is expensive so why started buying it at this point. At this point I keep telling myself to just make it until she is a month old. Once I get to that point, I will probably tell myself to make it to two months.

All of this being said, she does get a bottle probably twice a day (I am pumping, just to give myself this bit of sanity.) I love that Carlos feeds her once at night, he doesn't have to, he just wants to help me and let me sleep a little more. Have I mentioned lately how much I love that man?

I also am not into breastfeeding when other people are around. Yes, I could throw a blanket over me but it is then awkward and annoying and I just don't want to.

I know there are people out there that genuinely enjoy breastfeeding and feel very bonded with their baby during this time, to them I say you have my respect. I am just never going to be that person.

A quick change from my ranting, I am so ready for spring! I need to get out of the house. I want to go for walks. Norman wants to go for walks. I think warmer weather will bring a serious excitement to our home.

This week in pictures

2009-01-27T13:47:00.011-05:00

Many people have been asking how Norman has been adjusting to Eden. Overall, he is doing really well. He needs to constantly be where she is and often if she cries he stands there and whines, which can be very irritating. As time goes on I have noticed he is calming down, I think overtime he will be fine. Norman doesn't typically deal well with changes to his routine, which we knew beforehand. It will be nice in the spring when we are able to go for walks so he is able to get more of his energy out.

He also really wants to share his ball with Eden, I always tell him that maybe she will play someday when her head is bigger than the ball.

Matching Bellies

2009-01-22T17:14:00.003-05:00

No, I do not still look like this, but my mom just gave me this picture and it cracked me up. You can tell by my Dad's face how thrilled he is. I think it was taken at the beginning of December.

Bath Time

2009-01-19T19:31:00.007-05:00

We are still doing the sponge bath thing since her umbilical cord has not completely fallen off yet, as you can see she hates it with a passion. Ironically, she totally enjoys it when Carlos washes her hair. Crazy child.

Week 1

2009-01-19T19:20:00.003-05:00

We made it through our first week. It was a lot more stressful than I originally anticipated, but it ended well. We began the week by going into the lab for daily blood tests to check Eden's jaundice levels. Instead of going down they continued to go up, even wearing her bili blanket. We also had 2 appointments with the pediatrician since her levels were continuing to rise. We ended up having to supplement her eating with formula because she was dehydrating due to my bodies lack of efficiency. She also was continuing to lose weight rather than regain it. Once we changed her eating her levels started to drop and my body finally pulled it together all in the same day, so we are back to what is now normal life. I only cried once when I thought they might have to hospitalize her again and the feeling of being consumed by appointments with Dr's and labs. Thankfully, life is settling down and I am hoping I will even get to take some naps this week.